THE TRUTH ABOUT ANAL GLANDS
1. No one teaches you anything about anal glands in vet school. No one teaches you anything about anal glands after you graduate from vet school. Specialists who give lectures consider anal glands unmentionable. Like so many important things in life, we are left to find out about anal glands on the street corner.
2. Dogs who have their anal glands expressed regul...arly develop anal gland abscesses. Dogs who don't have their anal glands expressed regularly develop anal gland abscesses. Dogs who have their anal glands expressed occasionally develop anal gland abscesses. So far as I can make out, dogs get anal gland abscesses because they did something bad in a past life. Don't even try to figure it out.
3. The more you mess with a dog's anal glands, the more you have to mess with them. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" applies to many things in life, including this one.
4. Some dogs who drag their bums have problems with their anal glands. Some dogs who drag their bums have itchy bums from allergies. If a dog's bum is still itchy after the anal glands are empty, don't keep messing with the anal glands.
5. The only way to effectively empty an anal gland is to get down and dirty with a finger up the bum. Squeezing from the outside just annoys the anal glands. Groomers are deceiving themselves.
6. Fat dogs have more problems with anal glands than thin dogs.
7. Allergic dogs have more problems with anal glands than non-allergic dogs.
8. Dogs with IBD have more problems with anal glands than non-IBD dogs.
9. Dogs on highly-digestible, low-residue diets have more problems with anal glands, because of their teeny, wimpy little poos.
10. The chances of a dog spontaneously expressing its anal glands on its owner are directly proportional to the expensiveness of the clothing receiving the secretions, and to the importance of the dinner date or business meeting immediately following the spontaneous expression.
11. If you are expressing an anal gland and you get anal gland secretions in your hair, you will smell anal gland secretions until your hair has been washed twice.
12. When expressing anal glands, do not make idle chatter with the technician who is restraining the dog. Keep your mouth firmly closed and your head turned as far away from the dog as possible. I'm not going to elaborate. Just trust me on this one.
THUS ENDS THE LESSON ON ANAL GLANDS.
1. No one teaches you anything about anal glands in vet school. No one teaches you anything about anal glands after you graduate from vet school. Specialists who give lectures consider anal glands unmentionable. Like so many important things in life, we are left to find out about anal glands on the street corner.
2. Dogs who have their anal glands expressed regul...arly develop anal gland abscesses. Dogs who don't have their anal glands expressed regularly develop anal gland abscesses. Dogs who have their anal glands expressed occasionally develop anal gland abscesses. So far as I can make out, dogs get anal gland abscesses because they did something bad in a past life. Don't even try to figure it out.
3. The more you mess with a dog's anal glands, the more you have to mess with them. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" applies to many things in life, including this one.
4. Some dogs who drag their bums have problems with their anal glands. Some dogs who drag their bums have itchy bums from allergies. If a dog's bum is still itchy after the anal glands are empty, don't keep messing with the anal glands.
5. The only way to effectively empty an anal gland is to get down and dirty with a finger up the bum. Squeezing from the outside just annoys the anal glands. Groomers are deceiving themselves.
6. Fat dogs have more problems with anal glands than thin dogs.
7. Allergic dogs have more problems with anal glands than non-allergic dogs.
8. Dogs with IBD have more problems with anal glands than non-IBD dogs.
9. Dogs on highly-digestible, low-residue diets have more problems with anal glands, because of their teeny, wimpy little poos.
10. The chances of a dog spontaneously expressing its anal glands on its owner are directly proportional to the expensiveness of the clothing receiving the secretions, and to the importance of the dinner date or business meeting immediately following the spontaneous expression.
11. If you are expressing an anal gland and you get anal gland secretions in your hair, you will smell anal gland secretions until your hair has been washed twice.
12. When expressing anal glands, do not make idle chatter with the technician who is restraining the dog. Keep your mouth firmly closed and your head turned as far away from the dog as possible. I'm not going to elaborate. Just trust me on this one.
THUS ENDS THE LESSON ON ANAL GLANDS.
From a rescue friend that is a vet!
